insider

today is the first day of spring break, that wonderful moment in february that gives us a chance to enjoy the delights of winter in michigan without the pressures of work. which really means we get to stay in and work because it's too grey and cold out there to do anything else. but town is so empty that it feels a bit like a holiday (starbucks is no longer full of undergrads), and it is wonderful to wear my slippers for long uninterrupted periods of time. and as mundane as it sounds, i am grateful for the quiet. last week, you see, was full of adventures:

adventure #1 (good) - on wednesday night kmz and i went to see coldplay at the palace, somewhere near detroit, though i couldn't tell you where exactly. it was wonderful, they were wonderful, the whole thing was fantastic. i've been singing their songs ever since.
adventure #2 (good) - on thursday morning i packed myself into a small rental car and drove off in the general direction of the south. yes, i do object to long car journeys by myself, and yes, i did get a little bit sad before i left, but once i was out on the open road, singing loudly to my many coldplay cds, i was happy as a lamb. but i've written about this already, so i'll spare you the details... suffice it to say that i and my car made it to louisville in one piece.
adventure #3 (not so good) - on friday morning i checked myself out of the hotel and headed back into louisville in search of a cool little cafe i'd spotted the night before (and breakfast). on my way to aforementioned cafe i was accosted by a strange man who asked for directions but really wanted my handbag. i gave it to him, of course, but not without a certain amount of annoyance, as it occurred to me as i was reluctantly handing it over that it contained not only my purse but the keys to my nippy little car. but these types are not to be argued with, so i gave in, handed over the bag (with all of $20 in it) and watched him drive off with it. so that was a drama. but the police were amazing, and i got a lift in a police car, so that (almost) made up for the injustice of being mugged before breakfast in bright sunshine. ah well.

so, you see, i'm quite happy to pad around in my slippers for a while. i've had enough adventures this month...

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 1:50 AM

believe it or not, i'm sitting in a hotel room (clearly decorated by the colour blind) somewhere near louisville watching a programme on tv about the royal family, & life at windsor. wonderful stuff ...
the official story is that i'm here for a conference (paper tomorrow at 10:45am in room 217, thank you very much) but really it's all about the sights and delights of driving around the midwest in a very small & nippy rental car. i've seen things today that no self-respecting european could ever imagine. here's a small sample: one barn with "Jesus" written in gigantic letters on one side of the roof (Ohio); one absolutely HUGE statue of Jesus appearing out of a pond in front of a mega church (Ohio); one sign at entrance to motorway forbidding all animals on foot (Kentucky). does this mean, I wonder, that goats on bicycles are fine and dandy?
Ohio is a strange state to drive through - its roads take you endlessly through flat fields of monotone colours broken only by the odd barn or house. Kentucky is much more appealing - in apparent recognition of the state borders, the land changes, hills appear and trees suddenly cover the ground.
louisville (as i discovered when i booked my hotel and found it was in another state altogether) is right on the edge of a large river (no idea what it's called) and also on the border between kentucky and illinois. my hotel, happily called the Riverfront, has not quite lived up to its appellation, though i can see (beyond the car park) the river from my bedroom window.
so, having survived the drive and successfully located this almost riverside property, i am off to the university of louisville in the morning, in search of breakfast, and room 217. then back to my little car for the long ride home. but at least i know the way now.

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 3:24 AM

oh dear, bad start to the day: i managed tocompletely forget breakfast at 7am with jl, despite having agreed to it yesterday. no idea how this happened but i feel awful. note to self: must make more notes in future.

today's poem for the day, by emily dickinson:
I'm Nobody! Who Are You?

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us - don't tell!
They'd advertise - you know!

How dreary to be somebody!
How public like a frog
To tell one's name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 1:57 PM

this week i've been trying to memorize a passage from the Bible, following the talk last sunday at church. i cheated by starting with something i already knew pretty well, but it has surprised me how amazing it is to be able to say (by heart) a piece of scripture every day and really meditate on it. so here's my piece for this week:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness, for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23

today has been the coldest of days, and i've been inside writing for most of it. this evening i ventured out but it was truly painful - the kind of cold where your whole face goes numb and the inside of your nose freezes. not pleasant. it's nice to be back in my warm little studio now. insane weather aside, this has been a good week: out of the blue, i have plans to travel during spring break, and i am excited at the idea of escaping from this little town for a few days. i keep being surprised by the fact that for the moment i'm not anxious about the future, or the fact that i still have no idea about it. it all comes down to grace, i guess. for now all i need to know is that there is a next step, and that i'll work it out when the time is right. given my usual lack of patience with all things, this is no small thing...

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 4:48 AM

it's 10:58pm (or thereabouts) and i'm eating chocolate (cadbury's of course) in my pyjamas and lesson planning for tomorrow. late-night multi-tasking of sorts. there has been the most incredible thunder storm tonight - i opened the blinds so i could see the lightning over the arb, which was quite fantastic. in fact, it made me jump... it was that good.
today has been a writing day, and for the moment all is well.

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 3:59 AM

Things you should know about me today:

I didn’t send a Valentine this year. I can’t remember the last time I did (this is sad).

I own a pedometer (as of last week) and have walked/run a total of 12055 steps today.

I am currently addicted to Weetabix.

I’m trying to write a short story but can’t get past about 2 pages.

I miss playing the piano.

I’m listening to Ohio (Over the Rhine): “I want to do better, I want to try harder, I want to believe, down to the letter. Jesus & Mary, can you carry us, across this ocean, into the arms of forgiveness.”

If you’re reading this from anywhere beyond the Midwest, I miss you.

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 2:41 AM

to be in a quandary, according to the OED, is to be in "a ticklish plight," which i think is a wonderful description of the position in which i currently find myself. still no news on the job in GA but i'm pretty sure that it's not the one for me. not that it wouldn't be nice to have the offer, all the same. still, that (admittedly large) decision doesn't make it any easier to see what i ought to be doing instead. it's the curse of the modern american, and one of the reasons i'd like to leave the US: too much choice. too many different breakfast cereals, too many shampoo brands, way too many types of frozen pizza (all scary, incidentally) and too many places that little miss me could end up. here's the big question: which of the many factors in play are the most important, and which are the ones i'm allowed to own up to leaning towards? by which i mean, it seems to me that people frown more on those who choose to live somewhere based on the people there (friends, family, cat, etc) rather than on the job opportunities it offers. so - on this theory - i should be prepared to live anywhere at all, as long as i get a great job. and it therefore follows that to "go home" because i miss my family and worry that the cat might not recognize me anymore is to be unambitious and uninteresting, somehow. but here's my question: is it necessarily a bad thing to shape one's life around things other than work? i'm not saying we should neglect work here, just wondering out loud whether it might make life a little empty if all our decisions are based around what we can achieve?

is it possible that i'm overthinking this? yes. of course. i know that in the end a job will come up, and it will just make sense, whether it's in bognor (heaven forbid) or chorleywood, NYC or good old London town.

in other news, i had rather a splendid weekend, involving a great movie, (Mrs Henderson Presents), new music (Lenny Kravitz, no less) and coffee at Sweetwaters that involved real company as opposed to my laptop. it was all, as i said at the time, a very welcome distraction. and i am distracted. but then life would be, well, a little lifeless without distraction, wouldn't it?

currently listening to: the kings of convenience
currently reading: the most beautiful country towns of England. i'm not kidding - it has great pictures...

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 3:00 AM

things i have done this week:

eaten very good chinese food at middle kingdom (or possibly middle earth... either way it reminds me of tolkien and lord of the rings. not the food though. the food is good but the main attraction is the small round "chef" who is in charge and always impossibly angry, however full the restaurant is).

eaten amazing food (this is a theme) at the gandy dancer with miss rw, miss jr and her father, who is lovely. definitely the most decadent moment of the week.

tried to decide if i want to start the rest of my life in atlanta or london.

talked to miss jh about weddings (most exciting moment of the week).

read a few more pages of zadie smith's "white teeth," which is brilliant, and has me wanting to write and wanting never to write in equal quantities. tough one this: to be inspired or dejected, in the face of brilliance? i never can quite decide.

walked through the rain to where i am now, listening to conversations about the muhammad cartoons and writing a chapter on existentialism.
life, for now, is good.

posted by Joanna Ruth @ 4:32 PM